Too Late
by everlerk
Summary: AU - If Katniss were pregnant during the Quarter Quell, and if Peeta were rescued in time. My take on how the revolution and the games played out. (Katniss and Peeta Fanfiction) M because I'm paranoid.
1. I Look Into Your Eyes

Too Late

_"I look into_

_your __eyes__."_

–– _M83_

_I drift off only to be roused by nightmares that have increased in number and intensity. Peeta, who spends much of the night roaming the train, hears me screaming as I struggle to break out of the haze of drugs that merely prolong the horrible dreams. He manages to wake me and calm me down. Then he climbs into bed to hold me until I fall back to sleep. After that, I refuse the pills. But every night I let him into my bed. We manage the darkness as we did in the arena, wrapped in each other's arms, guarding against dangers that can descend at any moment. Nothing else happens, but our arrangement quickly becomes a subject of gossip on the train._

Acts can lead to many different outcomes, I did not think of the possible outcomes of the actions that were committed last night. I know I was seeking comfort, and of course I understood the meaning of what I had just done, but nevertheless, I was lying in his bed, not a layer of clothing on. When I finally fall out of unconsciousness, I get up from the bed, dragging one of the blankets off with me and wrapping it around my body. I notice the stains of red where I was lying.

It did happen, the truth is in our minds, _and on the sheets_.

I pick up my forlorn nightclothes from the ground, and fetch my discarded undergarments from the bottom of the bed. I wrap them all in a ball, and before he even wakes up, I dart out of the room.

I get to my compartment and lock myself in. I sink down to the foot of the cold wooden door, toss my clothes aside, tighten the blanket around me and bury my face into my palms.

_What have I done?_

When I bring my hands away from my face, they're wet with fresh tears. I quickly get up and make my way to the bathroom for a much needed shower.

I soak in the neverending source of boiling water for what seems to be like an hour or so, I can't really tell, I feel so fazed by last night.

_I am so sore._

This pain is new, I've never felt any pain quite like this before, then again I have never ever committed any acts of intimacy with any soul before, and I never thought I would have.

I let the fear consume me, I thought I could be healed this way, and for even thinking that..

I am selfish.

The breakfast table is quiet, I don't sit next to Peeta like I normally do. I position myself on the far end of the table and keep my head down, my eggs with toast suddenly becomes far more interesting than the people talking over the table.

"Katniss." I lift my head up, Haymitch has been trying to get my attention, I suppose.

"Sweetheart, you look like you've seen a ghost." He prompts, taking a bite of his own toast.

"When have I not looked like I've seen a ghost." I snicker, looking back down at my food. "I- uh.. The nightmares were bad last night, I hardly got any sleep."

"It happens to the innocent." He states, sipping his tea, I suspect there is some sort of alcoholic beverage within the herbal sweetness of the hot liquid. "When are you going to eat your food, you've been staring at it for at least five minutes."

Embarrassment fills my stomach, _innocent, _he says, I push the plate away. "I'm not hungry." I deadpan.

The chair screeches across the floor as I get up to exit the room as fast as I can.

Slow and heavy footsteps follow behind me, I try to move faster but before I reach the door a hand catches my free one. I jerk it away and look up into a pair of extremely worried deep blue eyes.

"Katniss.. I-"

"-_Please_." I choke, trying not to cry.

"We really need to talk.." He reasons.

I catch Haymitch in my peripherals. I open the door and let Peeta in. Leering at Haymitch as I shut the door.

I release a sigh when the door is closed, Peeta places himself atop my bed, straightening himself up.

"I'm sorry about the blood." I mutter shamelessly.

"I thought I hurt you. You were gone and all I saw was blood on the sheets. You didn't let me apo-"

"Peeta." I say, harshly. "It was my fault. I was the one who initiated it."

"-and I was the one who went through with it."

I sniff and look down, "I didn't understand the consequences, I should have known."

"You feel fine, right?" I sit down beside him.

"Of course, I'm just a little sore. But I'll feel better soon." I sound reassuring enough, it seems to have settled him.

"I'm just.." I turn my frame away from him, hugging my stomach, "..really sorry.." He puts a hand on my shoulder and I look up.

"Don't be."

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

The train comes to a screeching halt, we have finally reached District 4. We hop off the train and we are greeted by peacekeepers once more. I take Peeta's hand and squeeze it, he doesn't hesitate to squeeze my hand back.

We deliver another heartless, controlled speech to the tributes of District 4. Seeing the faces of the families must be the worst part of the entire time. We also see many people who try to revolt, but they're dragged away, probably to be killed off, just like that poor man in District 11. He didn't deserve that.

Next thing I know I'm walking upon the beautiful beach of this new world. I've never been on a beach before, I've never felt sand between my toes, the only thing that has come close to the silky sand is the soft mud of the woods during winter, caked underneath my nails and feet.

I breathe in the salty air, and exhale after some hesitation. I find a spot on the sandy bank, and decide to sit down to rest my legs from walking.

I overlook the stunning view of the sunset over the sea's horizon. The magnificent orange and pink colors intertwine and twist across the canvas of the sky. The sun's light reflects off of the salty ocean, creating a fantastic golden display. The golden sea fades into nothingness, as the lazy sun slowly descends downwards behind the masterpiece.

I feel a presence beside me, I turn to see him sitting there and I look away, I don't want to meet his eyes.

"i hope you're not trying to avoid me." He states, I continue looking at the marvel in from of me. I stay silent for a while, until I realize something, The pale colors of the sky,

"That's your favorite color." I mumble, nodding my head forward.

"You're right."

We are silent once more, I take a deep breath of the salty air, as it fills my lungs, I move over towards him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"You know, even after something like that, I don't think you'd ever be able to keep me away, so no, I haven't been avoiding you. I'm just…" I attempt to quiet down the shivers that are sent up and down my spine, Peeta seems to respond to this, he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer. "Thinking."

I finally lift my head up and look into his eyes, they're kind, just like his entire being.

**–**

A/N: Thank you for reading the first chapter of my brand new K/P fanfiction, don't forget to review and favourite! Follow if you want to receive a notification every time I update- I hope you enjoy this new journey I will be taking you on! Hopefully I can somehow make this common concept my own. Thank you all for your interest!

-FLK [A]


	2. Diving into the Ocean

**Light warning for some ehe lovely lemons if you know what I'm sayin' I had someone spice it up a little because I'm a 15 year old c'mon I can't write that stuff ewwye- I haven't read the final product of the flashback of "last night" and I never will. I'm not really into writing- erm you know.. So I just wrote it delicately and had a friend help me out with it, thank you, Paige!**

**Too Late - Chapter II**

_Diving into_

_the ocean_

–– _M83_

As the rest of the day progresses, we are soon hurried onto the train by none other than Effie Trinket, the one obsessed with time management and manner. The dinner table has been set, with my personal favorite food of the Capitol world.

Here's to another little thing that could cheer me up, just the little bit.

I settle on a seat beside Haymitch, opposite Peeta and Effie. The first bowl is passed down to me, and I don't hesitate to scoop the largest portion of stew I have ever had.

I take a mouthful of the beautiful casserole. The lamb must be cooked slowly and beautifully to be this good, and the plumbs are poached perfectly. I reach for the bread, tearing morsels off and dipping them into the residue. I'm not sure why I feel so hungry all of a sudden. I suppose I didn't eat enough today.

The avox serves me a glass of water, I thank her gently, all she does is nod her head. I continue to eat, there is light chatter over the table. I don't participate as normal. I yawn, suddenly feeling very drowsy.

"Hey, can I go sit over there? I feel very tired." I ask Haymitch.

"Go for it, you don't need to ask, sweetheart."

I get up and glance over to Peeta. He looks worried, but I shoot him a smile before turning around.

I lie down on the couch in the next room and bring my palm to my forehead. I feel very hot, and very tired. I'm not sure why I feel like this, but I soon drift into yet another dreamless sleep.

I hear shuffling of feet, someone is carrying me. I open my eyes to see Peeta, we're walking to my bedroom, I shut my eyes again, burrowing into his chest. The hallway lights are too bright for my sensitive eyes.

I'm set down on my bed, and I feel the covers being pulled over me. He's not beside me though.

I manage to open my eyes and say his name just before he exits the room. I ask him to stay.

He does.

We're lying together again, reunited. I allow myself to fall asleep again, relief spreading through my chest. I only fall asleep to one thought, the acts of last night play on, and on in my head.

**_I woke up, terrorized by yet another nightmare. His arms were there_****_. T_**_**hey were always there. **_

_I allowed myself to cry. Because after some time, I finally was able to. Other times I would wake up frozen, not knowing how to react. My screams, muffled to only a fraction of what I'm used to. _

_But I wouldn't know how to feel, I wouldn't know what to do. But he was there._

He was always there.

_Something didn't feel right in the air. I needed more comfort. It wasn't enough, I still felt terrified, usually holding him until the sobs quieted down was enough. _

_It just... wasn't. _

_That's when I had kissed him on the neck, then everything seemed to have gone still, the rattling of the train was the only sound filling my ear drums. I pulled away, to look him in the eyes, although my vision failed me once again, since I couldn't see properly because of the tears that blurred my sight. I still leaned in, my lips still met his with great desire._

I was the one who initiated it.

_I rolled ov__er on my back and he hovered over me. We kissed, and we kissed, for who knows how long. A strange feeling pooled at the pit of my stomach. _

Hunger. I had thought.

_A moan had emitted out my mouth, I suddenly felt embarrassed, but instinctively, he responded to it. _

_And I felt it. _

_Hungrier, and hungrier the feeling in my stomach began to grow, it spread to every limb, through every vein, every pore of my body. I was shivering._

Not because it was cold.

_My moans began to fill the air more frequently, Peeta's response to this grew more obvious every time I would whisper his name. I knew where this could lead to, and I wasn't willing to stop it. Not now. _

_My breaths became short, and so did his. His hands wavered around my waist, and I started squirming underneath him. I didn't feel satisfied, I wanted more than that. _

_I pulled away from him, looking into his eyes once more._

_It was like diving into an ocean, if I were to go through with this, it would be a struggle to get out, especially if you cannot swim._

We went through with it.

_His hands explored, they caressed, the feeling in my stomach overpowered me. Layers of clothing soon came off, one by one, soon enough neither of us were wearing a thing. _

_I thought it would satisfy the feeling, but it only made the feeling stronger._

_My breaths were fast, I was gasping for air, I couldn't take it any longer, the feeling needed to be satisfied, whatever it was, it made me plead, it made me moan, it made me gasp, it made me shiver. _

_It made me want._

And then it happened, slowly, but simply.

_He was there. Everything went still, I couldn't breathe, nor react. I didn't know whether the feeling had disbanded or grew, I just knew that there was no going back now. _

_I let my breath out, soon gasping for air. Peeta asked if I was alright, if I wanted to stop, if I was hurt. _

_Yes, I was alright, yes I was hurt._

_But I didn't want to stop. _

_He moved slowly, cautiously. Whilst everything inside of me was screaming with sirens, I knew this wasn't right, but for some reason I wanted it, and I'm still fazed at the reason why. _

_My gasps and moans only drove him to go faster. _

_He was hesitant, frantic, whatever I was doing, I was doing it right. _

_I held onto him, my nails dug into his skin, in a way that must of been painful. But nevertheless..._

It only drove him to go faster.

_My breaths were erratic, the feeling took over, I was shaking with whatever was coming, I didn't know what it was. But it was there, and it was coming fast. I knew this was wrong, so very wrong. But I really didn't want to stop, not now at least. _

_Then it happened, and everything went still once more._

_Everything slowed down, the feeling inside of me dimmed, it retracted to only a pinch of what it was, all I could hear was the heavy panting of us both._

_We lay there, for what seemed like hours and hours. Until he finally laid down beside me. I didn't say anything. But there was guilt rising up my throat like bile. Wordlessly, I moved closer to him, keeping my eyes closed, I rested my head on his chest. His arms encircled me once again. My gasps turned to normal breaths, slower than normal._

_I didn't dare to look at him, my bottom lip quivered with guilt. I soon fell into a dreamless sleep. Shrouded in lament our bodies clung to each other, as if we were in the cave once more._

Vulnerable.

******[A/N] I hope you liked the ending, don't forget to leave a review- I'll be telling my friend how many people review on this chapter :) She really didn't want to be named on any social media~ but remember to thank her! -FLK (A)**


	3. Falling

**Too Late - Chapter III**

"_Falling"_

– _M83_

I'm awoken by the sound of my name whispered into my ear. My eyes flutter open and I look to him beside me. Peeta lays there with a solemn look. I sit up and stretch my arms out, I sling them around his neck. He pulls me into him. We sit on the bed for some time. Until I decide to shower. He nods off to his own compartment as I gather clothes for the morning, to make myself somewhat presentable for breakfast.

I hear a knock on the door,

"Just a minute." I say, throwing my clothes onto my bed. I open the door and see Haymitch standing there, his arms lingering at his sides.

"Can I talk to you, sweetheart?"

"I suppose, I'd gracefully allow you to if you didn't call me sweetheart."

"Not going to happen," he says as he pushes past me. I frown and shut the door behind me, as he takes a seat on my bed.

"Come sit." He mumbles, patting the empty space next to him. I slowly make my way and sit beside him.

"Now I know, you and Peeta, share a bed occasionally. Correct?"

My face falls, why does he want to talk about this? "Yes.." I say.

"Did anything happen, you know, out of the ordinary a few nights ago perhaps?" He quirks an eyebrow.

Now my face is red. I know it is. I feel incredibly embarrassed and utterly mortified. I turn away from him keeping my head low, I'm giving him a tell tale sign that whatever he is assuming is true. I'm far too stubborn to admit it myself.

"Look at me."

I do as he says, tears welling up in my eyes. I finally lean into him, bursting into tears.

He rubs my back poorly, and he mutters the odd, 'It's okay,' or, 'there, there.' But it's just not helping.

"Katniss. I don't want any of you doing something that you might regret, and I don't want him to think you're just using him to cure your lamentations."

"I didn't mean to!" I wail, "I never wanted to hurt him! I didn't know what we were doing! I didn't know why! I-" My sentence is cut off by my cries.

He lets me sob into his shoulder for a while. Until he finally speaks up.

"As long as you're careful, and as long as you're not using him. You have nothing to worry about, okay?"

I pull away from his shoulder and wipe my eyes with the backs of my hands.

All I manage is a nod.

Boiling water courses over the purity of my clear, scarless skin. I turn the tap off, dry myself, get into the clothing I selected, and I head out to the breakfast table, we are making our way to District 3 today, as our last stop was District 4. This morning, I decide to sit next to Peeta. I devour at least two bowls of fruit and a piece of toast. Peeta looks at me, and my empty bowls and plates strangely. I shrug at him, and move to get up.

I feel slightly unwell, as if nausea has begun to take over. There's a lump in my throat.

"Peeta, could you get a glass of water for me and bring it to my room?"

Before he even answers, I dart out of the room, my hand over my mouth. I make it to the bathroom just in time. I hunch over the toilet and throw up. I hear footsteps behind me as I continue to hurl. I hear the clang of the glass that he probably just put down on the counter. He probably seems shocked, he proceeds to rub my back. Once I'm convinced I'm finished. I feel dizzy. I look up to him, he looks so, so worried. Haymitch stands at the door, and looks at me.

"I know some things did happen, but I want you to ask your mother about it when you get home, just to make sure. She's a healer. Right?" I weakly nod my head, understanding what he's saying.

I am showing signs of pregnancy. But I know it can't be true.

The rest of the Victory tour is a blur. I feel sick, and dizzy, and being on the train really isn't helping. The night of the party at the President's mansion. I couldn't eat anything. I knew everything there would set me off, but then I later found that the only thing that was there that was safe to eat, was these strange, bread finger foods. If I had eaten anything sweet, I would be above the toilet seat hurling my guts out for hours.

We get on the train at about one in the morning, I manage to get a fraction of my makeup off, but I give up after ten minutes. I remove my dress and replace it with my nightgown. I pass out on my bed, merely minutes later.

_When I open my eyes, it's early afternoon. My head rests on Peeta's arm. I don't remember him coming in last night. I turn, being careful not to disturb him, but he's already awake._

_"No nightmares," he says._

_"What?" I ask._

_"You didn't have any nightmares last night," he says._

_He's right. For the first time in ages I've slept through the night. "I had a dream, though," I say, thinking back. "I was following a mockingjay through the woods. For a long time. It was Rue, really. I mean, when it sang, it had her voice."_

_"Where did she take you?" he says, brushing my hair off my forehead._

_"I don't know. We never arrived," I say. "But I felt happy."_

_"Well, you slept like you were happy," he says._

_"Peeta, how come I never know when you're having a nightmare?" I say._

_"I don't know. I don't think I cry out or thrash around or anything. I just come to, paralyzed with terror," he says._

_"You should wake me," I say, thinking about how I can interrupt his sleep two or three times on a bad night. About how long it can take to calm me down._

_"It's not necessary. My nightmares are usually about losing you," he says. "I'm okay once I realize you're here."_

We finally pull into District 12. Where my family are waiting for me. When I see Prim, I gather her into my arms and lift her up. She giggles as I put her down, taking her hand, I lead her out of the crowd, my mother, and Peeta following behind.  
>"We missed you, dear." I hear my mother say,<p>

"I missed you too." I say, whilst glancing back to Peeta. We both know I have to talk to my mother soon.

I hope I don't end up falling to my knees in regret. Then I'll have to admit to myself that Haymitch was right.

**(AN) I hope you enjoyed, remember to leave a review!**


	4. Like a Wall of Stars

Too Late - Chapter IV

"_Like a wall_

_of stars"_

– _M83_

I finally walk into the warmth of my Victor's Village home. Mouthwatering odors of my mother's vegetable stew fills my airway. It smells like home.

Prim is outside, gathering herbs from the small herb garden that my mother had established just outside. Everyone was allowed a day off as the newly crowned victors of the seventy-fourth Annual Hunger Games have finally arrived home.

I suppose school is out of the question for me, now. Because my whole life will be broadcasted on television, and I will become a mentor alongside Peeta. I suppose we will be giving Haymitch a _much needed _break. Prim will be returning to school, no doubt. I won't be seeing her often, but my mother will be home.

Prim walks into the room with handfuls of fresh thyme whilst my mother tends to her stew. I sit at the dining table as they beaver away.

Night falls upon me too quickly, and not having Peeta here isn't good. I wake up crying, screaming, helplessly looking for his warmth, but instead I find nothing. It leaves me feeling very cold, and very small.

No, no, no. Not now, _please_.

I shoot down towards the bathroom and begin to throw up. My throat burns, and tears of exertion leak out of my eyes. I hear my mother's voice behind me, and she's by my side in a heartbeat.

"Katniss? Are you alright?" she rubs my back, as gently as Peeta did.

I lean over the bowl of the toilet. Not saying a word, I think I'm done now, so I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

I go to say something, but again..

I just burst into tears.

My mother does her best to calm me, but I'm too shaken up. I just lean into her and cry, throwing my arms around her, I think this is the first time, in a very long time that I've allowed myself to weep with her presence.

I get the feeling that she just _knows_, she knows what has happened and she _knows_ how I must be feeling.

My mother asks me questions, I either nod, or shake my head, but most of the time I'm nodding.

The last question she asks, sets me off.

"Did anything.. happen between you and Peeta?"

I nod my head slowly while tears spill over my eyes. She gathers me into her arms and tells me all that she can. It's a possibility that I could be pregnant with Peeta's child.

"I'm so afraid!" I cry, "this wasn't meant to happen!"

She holds me until my eyes dry out.

"Do you love him?"

This question, to be perfectly honest, I have no clue how to answer this. I know I do have strong feelings for him, whether its care, or love. I can't comprehend. What happened was a selfish act of comfort, and I am to blame for it. The question goes unanswered for a while, I don't reply to her, not with a nod, nor with a shake of the head.

I think back to all the times on the train, where he would hold me in his arms until I fell asleep, then I think of the one time, and one time only, that he dedicated himself to me.

The way my mother looks at me is disapproving, whilst living as a merchant, what's considered appropriate is making love after marriage, and I have done the complete opposite. I've let my mother down.

Tears fall as I whisper my lonely anticipated answer.

"Like a wall of stars."

**_Remember to review pleaaase sorry it's so short.. next one will be longer ! 3 :)_**


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